The Worst Kind of Secret
by sexyscientist
Summary: An e-mail from Gillian's sister puts Cal in a sticky situation. Offers an explanation of how Cal and Gillian became so close. Story contains very mild language and one mildly violent scene with very little detail. Tell me if the rating is wrong.


**Author's Note: This is my first fanfic. It's been brewing in my head for awhile now. I finally decided to put it on paper. I'm not sure if it is any good or not. It is quite possible that it is disorganized and/or rushed because sometimes that is the way my mind thinks. :-/ I intended this to be a one shot, but it could also be continued if the desire exists. Leave me reviews if you want more, or if you would like to offer constructive criticism. Also it should be said that while I love Cal and Gillian, I am not much of a Callian shipper. You might even say I'm an anti-shipper. I much prefer them as friends, and they are portrayed as such in this fanfic, but I hope that doesn't discourage the Callian shippers from reading it. **

**Thanks for reading!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't ****own any of the Lie to Me characters, places, themes, etc. No copyright infringement intended. On the contrary, Jessie is mine. If you would like to borrow her just ask. I will probably let you :-)**

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_**Cal's Office**_

Cal stared at his inbox and then downed another cheap hotel drink. He dreaded reading her latest e-mail because he knew it meant perpetuating the lie he had been telling Gillian for so long now. He opened the e-mail regardless and began to read its content:

_Uncle Cal,_

_I know you'll tell me that you aren't daft enough to forget the guidelines of these e-mails, but I'm choosing to remind you just in case. Gillian can't know you've been in contact with me because then she will be upset that I haven't contacted her. She knows it is part of my deception training regulations that I "not be in contact with family over the course of my studies," but of course it was just a test. They want us to be in contact with our families. They test our ability to lie every week when they ask us about our communication endeavors. Lying is as much a part of any job in deception detection as catching the lies; you taught me that. I knew it would be easier for me to lie if I was only in contact with you and not Gillian. Please make sure she knows I'm okay, but don't tell her you've been receiving these e-mails. _

_I'm getting ready to turn in my thesis. In a week or so I should have my graduate degree which means I'll be finishing 3 semesters early. I know it's a massive surprise considering I finished every other stage of my education early. I'm coming home after that, and I want to surprise Gillian. Considering she thinks I still have 3 semesters left, it shouldn't be difficult. That being said I was wondering if you could pick me up from the airport. I don't have flight details now, but I will send them as soon as possible. Then I would also like to enlist your help getting Gillian out of the office, so I can come in and surprise her when she returns. Can you please do that for me Uncle Cal?_

_I have to go now. I have a meeting to attend to with my advisor to finalize my thesis. Please remember not to talk to Gillian about this, but make sure she knows I'm all right and remembers I love her dearly._

_Love always,_

_Jessie_

Cal closed the e-mail frustrated as usual. He was always torn when Jessie e-mailed him. He adored her just as much as he adored Gillian. They were the only two women beside Zoe and Emily that he would do anything for and that could make him melt like butter. He would have to think long and hard about how to handle the latest e-mail from Jessie. She was asking him to keep the worst kind of secret, one of the lose-lose variety. If he told Gillian that Jessie was coming home, she would be furious with him for not telling her about the e-mails sooner, and he would completely ruin Jessie's plan to surprise her sister. Then again, if he didn't tell Gillian, he would only be perpetuating her worry and anxiety about Jessie's health and safety. He was almost certain that he would continue as he had done previously and play along with Jessie's requests even if it killed him to see Gillian worry about her little sister because honestly, he was already in too deep to turn back now.

_**Gillian's Office**_

Meanwhile Gillian sat in her office staring at the picture of her and Jessie from Jessie's college graduation. Jessie hated the picture because she "didn't think graduation was a big deal," but Gillian loved the picture and the memory nonetheless. Since she and Alec had separated, Jessie's picture was the only one left on her desk. She worried about her baby sister everyday and hated the deception detection training program's rule forbidding contact with family. She wanted so badly to call or e-mail Jessie and thought it was probably a test, but she wouldn't dare risking Jessie's education for her own comfort. Jessie had always told her that she wanted to be the best of her two favorite people: her big sister and her Uncle Cal. That meant deception detection training and a Ph.D. in psychology. She wanted to be the shrink and the freak show! Jessie had searched for weeks to find the best combination of deception detection training and graduate psychology programs. She found that in Europe. The details were scarce, but Jessie had begged Gillian to let her go. Reluctantly, Gillian had agreed. It was the best program in the world, and Gillian wanted her sister to pursue her dreams; she just wished she could do it closer to home. Jessie didn't understand it, but after their parents had died…no Gillian refused to think about that; it hurt her too much. All she wanted was for Jessie to come home, but that was still a year and a half away. Right now she would settle for a visit from Cal. He had been her best friend through all of this and was the only one who understood what she had gone through when her parents died…there she went again, for the second time in the past five minutes she was thinking about the one moment in her life she spent most of her time trying to avoid thinking about. "Come on Cal, walk into my office, notice my sadness like you always do, come in and be my friend." she thought to herself. As if Cal were mind reader, he poked his head in her office not a moment later. "Are you alright, love? You don't look so good. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as he closed her office door behind him.

_**Halfway Around the World in Italy**_

Jessie couldn't focus on her advisor's comments one bit. All she really wanted was to go back to D.C. and give her big sister the biggest hug known to man, and just the thought of doing so consumed her mind. She hated the way things had been the past four years: not being able to communicate with Gillian and having Uncle Cal lie for her. "Ugh. Focus, Jessie, focus. If you don't finish this thesis now, then it is going to be at least another semester before you see Gillian and Uncle Cal again." she thought to herself, but "blah, blah, blah, punctuation, blah, blah, blah, word choice" was all she heard. Her mind drifted again. She really missed her big sister, her protector, and above all her best friend. Ever since her mom and dad had died…no she didn't want to think about that. She had to focus. She had to finish this thesis and the sooner the better. She began to pay more attention to her advisor, and she was glad she had because just as he told her how much he had enjoyed her conclusion, he shrugged his right shoulder. "Note to self: Your advisor is a bloody liar and your conclusion needs work." Oh dear, she was starting to sound like Uncle Cal.

_**Back in Gillian's Office**_

Cal and Gillian sat next to each other on her couch, his hand on her back, and her head on his shoulder. They often did this; whenever one of them was having a difficult time the other one would listen, no judging, just listening. Gillian had seen a report of a mass shooting in France on the news that morning, and since she didn't know where in Europe Jessie was she was worried out of her mind.

"What if Jessie was shot?" her mind whirled with thousands of possible scenarios and she voiced every one of them much to Cal's dismay. It was tearing Cal apart on the inside to see Gillian like this when he had information in his possession that could calm her nerves. He wanted so badly to tell her that he had talked to Jessie only moments ago, she was in Italy, and she was completely intact, but he had made a promise to Jessie. Damn this conflict of interests. It looked like he would be lying to his best friend once again.

"Gillian, I'm sure if anything had happened to Jess, the school would have called you despite their communication regulation." Cal stated hoping to ease her angst.

"You're right Cal. I probably have nothing to worry about. I just wish I knew where she was right now. After mom and dad…well you know." Gillian looked away from Cal, but it didn't stop him from noticing the intense combination of fear, shame, and sadness that filled her face.

"I'll call the school and see what information I can get regarding location of students. I'll make up some reason I need to know, and I'll be sure Jessie's name never comes up. Don't worry love. You know that I have a way with words and the most spectacular people skills." Gillian smiled at his sarcasm and thanked him as he left her office. It pleased him more than anything to see that smile on her face.

_**Cal's Office**_

Cal immediately sat down at his desk and downed another bottle of hotel liquor. He had no intention of calling the deception detection program. He would simply wait 30 minutes, return to Gillian's office, and tell her that most of the students were in Italy with a few others in England. Right now her words kept ringing over and over again in his mind "'after mom and dad…well you know.'" He did know, all too well…that was the first time he had really been there for her. The day was all too vivid in his mind. It was before they had left the Pentagon, well she left and he was forced to leave, and they formed the Lightman Group. Almost 15 years ago…

He had walked past her office, and when he looked inside he saw the always composed, always unnaturally giddy psychologist that he often worked with curled up in a ball in her desk chair crying. The telephone was hanging from her desk by its cord. He didn't need to understand microexpressions to know how she was feeling; the sadness was blatant.

"I don't know that I ever imagined seeing you like this, love. Want to talk about it?" Cal asked, his British accent mumbling half of the words.

"I'm fine. You don't have to do this. I just need to find my keys." She said as she frantically looked through her desk and purse in search of her car keys.

"You're not driving anywhere, at least not like this. Where do you need to go, love? We'll take my car, and I'll drive since you are clearly in no condition to do such a thing." Cal stated very matter of factly as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I have to go get Jessie and tell her what happened. Ugh, I don't even know what I'm going to say to her; she's only nine after all. She's not going to understand any of this. Cal, I have to get to her before a principal, or a counselor, or worst a teacher tells her!" the panic in her voice startled Cal.

"C'mon Gillian. I'll drive you, but you're going to have to tell me what the hell is going on." Cal grabbed his keys, and they both headed hurriedly toward the parking garage. As they drove Gillian tried to rationalize the giant bomb that had dropped on her life in the last five minutes. Cal did his best to comfort her, but his attempts seemed futile as he learned what had occurred. Just moments before he had passed by her office, she had been informed that both of her parents had been killed in a tragic car accident. Another driver had been fleeing from the police and took a wrong turn sending them driving the wrong way down a one way street, careening into Gillian's parents' vehicle. They died instantly on the scene. Cal didn't know what to say. He just drove as fast as he could, holding Gillian's hand in the comforting way only a friend could. Over the next few weeks Cal hardly left Gillian's side. He arranged for Jessie to stay with Emily and Zoe whenever possible, so she could be spared as much detail and grief as possible. Meanwhile he helped Gillian arrange the funerals and often brought her dinner or just sat with her when she didn't want to be alone. This is when Zoe really started to resent his relationship with Gillian because anytime she needed his help taking care of Jessie or just needed a friend Cal would drop everything and run to her side. Cal didn't care. He would do anything for Gillian because she was his best friend and the only person at the Pentagon who didn't think his cheese had fallen completely off the cracker. In other words, she didn't think he was crazy.

After her parents' deaths Gillian practically became Jessica's mother. They had always been close despite their age difference, but this had only drawn them closer. Gillian refused any help that was offered her, beside that from Cal, because she wanted to be self sufficient. This is how he had become Uncle Cal to Jessie. He was always around, trying to relieve Gillian of whatever burden he could. He also let Jessie hang around his office a lot, and by the time they founded the Lightman Group Jessie was in high school, so he gave her an after school job as a secretary. Her interest and ability in deception detection never ceased to amaze him. It was as if she was a natural, but at the same time educated. He really wasn't surprised when Gillian told him of Jessie's intended educational pursuits. He always knew she would follow in her sister's footsteps and study psychology, but he also knew she had a passion for lie detection that she wouldn't be able to deny. If he had been in Gillian's position, he never would have let Jessica leave his sight, but Gillian wasn't the kind to stand in the way of her sister's dreams. She simply put a smile on her face and agreed reluctantly. She often came into his office and asked timidly if he had a moment. "Of course I always have a moment for my best friend." he would respond every time. It was odd; this part of his memory was so vivid at this moment, almost as if she were in the room asking for his permission to come in at that very moment.

"Cal," Gillian poked her head in his office in the most timid manner, "do you have a minute?"

There was no response. He was too lost in his memory to even realize her presence in his office.

"CAL! EARTH TO CAL!!!" he was suddenly jolted out of his memory by what seemed to be a very pissed Gillian Foster.

"Sorry love. I was just…remembering something. What do you need?"

"Well, I was wondering if you had a chance to talk to the school yet. I can't focus on anything but Jessie right now." Gillian stated as she released a huge sigh of fear.

"Oh yes. Of course love. I was just about to come down to your office and tell you. They confirmed that most of the students were in Italy with only a few in England. There's nothing to worry about love. They are all safe." She didn't notice the immense increase in manipulators as he talked. He was hailed as the ultimate liar, but when it came to lying to a friend he was a textbook example of microexpressions. Gillian was too busy feeling relief to focus on microexpressions right now.

"Thank you so much Cal. You're truly the best friend a girl could have. I know you'd never lead me astray." Gillian laid a friendly kiss on his cheek and almost skipped out of the room.

Her words stung like a dagger in Cal mind "'I know you'd never lead me astray'" He opened Jessie's e-mail again, and for the first time responded with a tone of resentment:

_Jessica,_

_I'll lie for you now and help you surprise Gillian, but you'd best hurry this all up and come home because your sister is making me feel extremely guilty about what I'm doing. She's worried about you, and frankly I don't blame her. When does your flight come in?_

_Sincerely,_

_Uncle Cal_

Cal felt bad for the tone of the e-mail, but he was just being honest by telling Jessie what was really on his mind. Oh hell, he was sounding like Loker. He quickly downed another cheap hotel liquor. This day was turning out to be way more than he asked for.

_**Advisor's Office in Italy**_

Jessie had worked feverishly on her thesis all afternoon, and it was the best it was ever going to be therefore she placed it in her professor's mailbox labeled "Finished Thesis Papers." She smiled as she looked at the title: _A Study of the Psychological Effect of Fear on the Body's Ability to Release Accurate Microexpressions for Other Emotions._ It was a title Gillian and Uncle Cal would be proud of. She smiled as she thought of them. She hadn't realized just how much she missed her sister until very recently. It actually brought tears to her eyes. She only had to wait three days now. That was the average return rate on a final thesis at this graduate school and considering not many people fished mid-year there shouldn't be too much of a backlog. She went home and immediately booked a flight for the end of the week. She was thrilled and at this point didn't even care if she got her degree. All she cared about was getting home to see her sister. Suddenly her Blackberry buzzed indicating a new e-mail. It was from Uncle Cal. She sensed anger in his message, but it didn't matter; Uncle Cal was almost always cranky… She replied sweetly hoping it would get her out of whatever doghouse Uncle Cal was throwing people in today:

_Uncle Cal,_

_I booked a flight today. I come in on Friday at 10:00 A.M. your time. Also, I'm going to call Gillian tomorrow morning since I'm not technically part of the training program anymore, but that doesn't mean you can spoil my surprise. She still isn't going to know anything about my return home. I just want to let her know that I'm okay and tell her I love her. You got that Dr. Lightman?_

_Love you,_

_Jessie _

Jessie was going to be busy for the next few days. She had tons of stuff to pack and ship before she left, but she didn't let the work spoil her joy about being home in less than a week.

_**Back in D.C. at the Lightman Group about 1 week later-Jessie's flight is due to come in at 10:00 A.M.**_

Cal was having a terrible time getting Gillian out of the office. She had been so bloody happy since Jessie had fed her some atrociously blatant lie about how she was allowed to call because of her classification and excellent achievement. Gillian bought it because she was just happy to hear Jessie's voice. Not that he didn't want her to be happy but with her so damn giddy, she was completely content sitting in her office doing paperwork which took away the leverage he thought he thought he would have to help him get her away from the office at least until Jessie got there.

"Gillian, please take the politician case for me!" Cal pouted like a puppy hoping that would get her to follow his instructions, "You know that's your specialty, not mine. Plus I have a meeting in Baltimore at 10:00 A.M. you can look in the books if you don't believe me." Gillian rolled her eyes and sighed as she grabbed her things and agreed to take the case. She at least hoped she could be done by lunch. Cal was relieved. He had an old friend of his in the State Department agree to fake some sort of issue to keep Gillian busy until at least noon, so he could smuggle Jessie into the office.

After Gillian left the office, he immediately got in the car and drove to BWI Airport to get Jessie. When he saw her his heart melted. He had forgotten how she did that to him. She dropped everything and ran to her Uncle Cal giving him an enormous hug around the neck. "Bloody hell, I've really missed her a lot and didn't even realize it." he thought to himself.

"Get in the car goofball," he said, "and hurry because we have to make it back before your sister does if this surprise is going to work." Jessie hopped in the car beaming. She talked the entire way back to the office telling Uncle Cal about all of the things people said about him without knowing that she not only knew him but loved him dearly. She also shined with pride when she showed him her graduate degree. She was officially Dr. Jessica Marie Lewis. After Jessie exhausted her information or energy, he wasn't sure which; Cal took the opportunity to tell her about Gillian's recent separation from Alec. He didn't want her to make any comments to Gillian that would upset her and ruin this otherwise joyous occasion. Cal was relieved when they finally made it back to the office not because he disliked spending time with Jessie but because the incessant chatter was more than he could take. He never was one for small talk.

Jessie walked into the building in awe of how much the place had changed since she left for school. "Have I really been away that long?" She thought to herself, "and could these two not pick a color other than white for decorations??? They are just asking for stains…" Regardless of how different it looked, as Dr. Jessica Marie Lewis walked through the hallway, toward her sister's office in her black and white polka dot dress with her wide black patent belt and black patent shoes, she finally felt like she was home again. She remembered all of the time she had spent here in high school and even on into college. It really was her second home. Then a foreign voice startled Jessie out of her thoughts.

"VaVaVoom! Who are you and will you sleep with me?" came Loker's unmistakable voice from the adjourning hallway.

"She's Dr. Foster sister. No she won't sleep with you! Go back to work and don't even think about trying again!" Uncle Cal had come to her rescue which was good considering Jessie was completely taken aback by Loker's approach.

"Who is that and is he always that blunt?" Jessie asked.

"That's Loker, and he calls it radical honesty. I try to ignore him, but he still doesn't go away." Cal laughed, "Anyway, you need to hurry and get in Gillian's office. She should be here any minute now." Just as Cal said that he heard Gillian come through the door in a fury.

"Cal Lightman, I'm going to kill you if you ever make me do that again." Gillian could hardly control her laughter. There was no way she could ever be upset with Cal. Despite anything he made her do, he was the best friend she had. "Cal? Where are you?" when no response was emitted from the immediate area, Gillian continued to her office disappointed at the missed opportunity to mess with Cal by pretending to be pissed.

Gillian opened to door to her office and was frightened by the figure which appeared to be a person sitting turned around, behind her chair at her desk. "Cal?!?" she hollered in a frightened voice.

"Yes, love?" he said standing up from behind her desk.

"What in the world are you doing hiding my office in dark?!? You scared the living happy out of me." Cal chuckled at the thought of Gillian ever having the "living happy" scared out of her.

"Well, I have a little surprise for you…" as he said that, Jessie turned the desk chair around revealing herself to her sister who immediately burst into tears.

"Whwhwhat are you doing here?" Gillian emitted as she leaped across the room and wrapped her sister in gigantic hug, kissing her on the forehead. Jessie explained how she had finished her degree plan early and now had her graduate degree. She also explained how she wanted surprise Gillian, and Cal had helped her because it was so tricky to fool her with her deception training and all. When Jessie and Gillian had finally broken apart from one another for a moment, Cal butted into the conversation.

"Now that I've helped surprise one of my favorite girls, I'd like to surprise the other. Jessie love, I want to offer you a job here. I could use another shrink around here for when your sister gets fussy and refuses to deal with politicians. Plus you've been brilliant at what you do since long before you started to study it. What do say? Want to work for your Uncle Cal?"

"I'd love to Uncle Cal, but only if it is okay with Gillian." Jessie looked hopefully at her big sister.

"Nothing would make me happier Jess. Nothing." Jessie smiled. She could tell her sister was genuinely happy and from what Uncle Cal had told her about Gillian and Alec's separation, her sister deserved a lit bit of happy.

"Uncle Cal, can Gillian take a half day? I want to take her out to lunch because based on what you and I talked about in the car, she and I have a lot of catching up to do."

"Of course she can, Jessie. You know I would do anything for you two!"

As she and Gillian walked out of the office, each with their arm around the other's waist, Jessie squealed "Thank you Uncle Cal!!! Oh and see you in the morning boss!"

Cal smiled as he watched them walk away. By looking at the two of them, Cal knew lying for Jessie actually hadn't been the worst kind of secret because it ended up being of the win-win-win variety: Jessie was happy, Gillian was more than happy, and by association Cal was happy for them.

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**Final Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed it! If you didn't, I'm sorry :-/ Leave me reviews please!!!**


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